Saturday, April 30, 2005

So, I ought to go to bed, but...

I keep thinking about how I'm moving soon, and how much work I have to get done for school and all, and how I haven't written for myself in...a long time.
I finished writing a paper earlier tonight for my Women's Studies class. It wasn't anything spectacular. A reaction to a group project that served as the group paper, nothing much. But I haven't actually written a paper in so long that I found myself amazed at how I was constructing sentences, and everything just flowed, and how I could use the grammar and vocabulary that I'd tucked away somewhere when I decided I needed to concentrate on working at the local convenience store to pay for this mess of bullshit they call college instead of furthering my abilities. It's ironic, I suppose, that I went to college to learn more, and ended up shutting down and refusing to learn anything in case it was unnecessary to whatever stupid course I was taking at the time. College isn't for everyone. Don't let anyone fool you.
I'm ready to be done with it, but I'm far too lazy to be ready to do the work included with it. I just get so nervous that I won't get the work done. I've been getting so nervous lately that I'm nauseous and dizzy and scared for no reason. But I'm pressing ahead, determined to get every project on my plate done, every paper written. Only two more weeks, and then I move out. Who knows what stress awaits me then.
Times change.
Here's to change.

And better posts.

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