Jobless in August

I had an interview today, and another one is lined up for tomorrow. I feel like I'm getting closer to employment. I just wish I wouldn't have had to wait so long. Being poor and needy is the worst.
The interview was at a chiropractic office, and I think the interview went alright. It wasn't much, that's for sure. There was no application filling, no buzzwords; the woman was very plain, pleasant and concise. The office needs a part-time receptionist who can be cheery and pleasant for the patients. Oh please, please hire me. I can totally do that. The part-time hours are set up pretty fucking awesome too, but I can't get ahead of myself. If I start imagining myself in the job, I'll definitely never get it. It would be a really great position to have, so I really want them to call me.
Tomorrow's interview is with Banker's Life. Apparently, it's an organization that helps senior citizens with retirement issues. I'll do my best. It's a job, after all...and it would be a weekend-off, title-having kind of job too. I think I'd kind of like one of those.
The title of this post may be null and void soon, who knows. Here's to hoping.

I talked with Mea a bit last week, and the more I talk with him, the more I feel like all the anxiety and left out feelings are in my head. Thankfully, he was very receptive of this month's comic. It was my easiest comic yet. I'd love to get into a pattern where I could do comics like that...just pump 'em out like it was no big deal and hand them in early. I have yet to hear from him about the columns and sketch I sent and their appropriateness.
I mentioned to him that he's more than welcome to use my images in merchandise and banners, and he seemed elated, as though the thought hadn't crossed his mind. He said he'd worked out a reiumbursement/royalty kind of deal, and I said not to worry about it. I sort of mean that, too. I mean, it'd be really neat to get money from this, but it's not why I'm doing it at all. I want to make statements, and get my messages heard, and change the fucking world! One porn comic at a time. I think it'd be really neat just to see my images on stuff. I'd want tons of it, even if the shirts didn't fit.

Peter is at a standstill. I've written a bit more on him, but I'm stuck in that I'm coming to a point where I need to organize myself so everything can flow and I'm not just repeating myself. However, I don't know how, or really want to do that. I've got to kick myself in the ass to do it, though. I need to have a meeting with Jon soon, and I don't want to have the meeting until I've got the story better lined out. I mean, I could just throw my hands up now and say, "Jon, come help me!", but I know I can do better than that. I want our next meeting to be a crucial one, where we really get the ball rolling, and get this thing started.
God, I'm so worried about working with Jon, too. I feel like I just can't do this without him, but he's always got so much on his plate. I don't want to be just another obligation for him. I feel so honored, though, that he even considers working with me. That's something that really keeps me going. Whenever I think my art is the crappiest in the world,(nearly everyday) I remember that he ASKED me to do a comic with him and that he loves the idea of Peter. He's been in the business. I'd like to think he knows what he's talking about.
Another source of inspiration recently has been the new magazine put out by Tokyopop, Takuhai. I was really surprised by how well-put together this free magazine was, even if I didn't agree with all of it. Their approach was great, showing little tiny bits of manga and giving insider info on each title. I wish they'd focus less on "manga" coming from America, Europe, and Korea, and more on real, Japanese Manga. I'm a stickler for accuracy in this fandom, and I'm also an incredible fucking snob about it. It's not manga if it's from another country. It's in manga style. Manga comes from fucking Japan, you half-wits; stop trying to write the rules just because you translate the shit. But in all that, I feel like I could do it, too. They rave and rave over the crappiest of American wannabe manga. It makes me feel like maybe I could do this and have a fanbase too. I won't be called a manga-ka, though. That'd just be wrong. I do it in a manga-esque style, and hardly then. I'm such a bitch.
With the way TokyoPop is such a whore for all its crappy titles, I almost want to bring Peter to them. But on the other hand, I know how I feel about them. They are whores. They're whores who think they define the genre because they're the ones putting it out. They're whores who saturate the market with crappy titles with no remorse. ("But Billy on our staff likes it!") They're whores who do sloppy editing and page layouts. (Have you seen the typos in GTO? Good lord.) They're whores who give a bad name to manga fans by catering to the idiots who'll buy the merchandise and drool over the swag, not the real fans who see the manga for its depth or humor or fantastic art or characters. No, we have to deal with the shonen ai fangirls who only like the subject because Tokyopop told them that's what girls do. So then they buy everything that might even possibly be shonen ai and fawn over it, never stopping to think about whether or not they really like it. I mean...why should girls have to fawn over gay men stories? I like gay men, but I also see them as competition. No thank you, TokyoPop. Fool me once, shame on you. So, I don't like Tokyopop. They won't be getting my stuff too soon. I want to go to a publisher like Marvel or Dark Horse, one of the big American companies. My chances with them will be less, I think, but I'd sooner reach the American audience, rather than the Tokyopop manga audience.

Alright. Enough blathering about TokyoPop. I'm getting pissed off.
And now I'm cold.
Later tonight, I may rant about thinness and how I hate it. Tune in to see.